Sexual Assault Awareness Month. A very special night with friends.

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Few understand the strength it takes to admit to being a victim of sexual abuse and violence.

Fewer still understand the road toward healing.

This is why I speak, though often stammering and ineloquent. 

I speak for the sake of others.

Here is one example.

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Last Thursday evening I had the privilege of being the featured speaker at the Lawrenceburg, Indiana, DIRECTIONS! Support & Advocacy Services, a program of Community Mental Health Center, annual Take Back the Night event. According to the press release, The Directions! event is held during national Sexual Assault Awareness Month, a time to promote awareness of sexual assault and related crimes and the impact of these crimes on society.  According to the Rape Abuse Incest National Network (R.A.I.N.N.), someone is sexually assaulted every two minutes in the United States. Forty-four percent of victims are under the age of 19, and 80 percent are under the age of 30. Sadly, only about 46% of all sexual assaults are reported to police.

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“Sexual violence is an epidemic in our country and our communities. Survivors feel shame, guilt and fear of public ridicule. Rape has lasting affects on every aspect of a victim’s life, while, according to R.A.I.N.N., 97% of all perpetrators never spend a day in jail.”

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Take Back the Night is a national campaign to bring greater awareness to the violent crimes of rape and sexual assault. 2013 marks the seventh consecutive year Directions! has hosted their event. It is the second time I’ve been the featured speaker. The evening featured inspirational messages from survivors and information on key strategies to use when confronted by sexual predators. Participants also learned how to help raise awareness in their communities about rape and sexual assault and about how to make a difference in the lives of survivors.

“Change comes from the courage survivors speaking out,” said Catherine Dwyer, Directions! Program Manager. “It also comes from the courage of each individual citizen who stands up and speaks out against sexual crimes. ‘Take Back the Night’ is the perfect opportunity to join your voice with the voice of other courageous survivors and citizens working to end sexual violence.” (See Cathy and I, pictured at right. Love that woman!)

The most incredible part of the evening for me is always The Clothesline Project on display. Originating in Massachusetts in 1990, The Clothesline Project now encompasses more than 500 communities and several foreign countries. It has become a worldwide campaign bringing awareness to violence against women.  Shirts featured in the display were created by survivors and family members and friends of survivors in our communities. The Clothesline Project offers a visual tribute to the courage of all survivors.

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If you or someone you know is a victim of rape or sexual assault, please do not hesitate to seek help. RAINN has a hotline at 1-800-656-HOPE (4673).

It’s never too late to heal.

And healing is never out of your reach.

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Dearborn County Prosecutor, Aaron Negangard, stands in front of The Clothesline Project display and speaks on behalf of protecting survivors and on the legal advances of prosecuting perpetrators. So inspiring to see him there, as well as many law enforcement officers and violent crime first responders.

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Here are more pictures of the event, as well as t-shirts created by survivors.

They speak louder than any words I could pen.

i’ve got a fever (a poem)

and i don’t need more cowbell

although i’m tempted to stand on the rooftops and ring something

anything to let out the clanging within my heart

post-mission-trip

re-entry syndrome

i suppose that’s what folks call the wringing of hands

within my soul

pining for friends and truth

faith stripped clean

a half-a-world away

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frightened by my own homeland

darkened by curtains blinding western eyes

wary of the upside down ache of my heart

yearning

yes

coveting

the riches of the ones

most folks think are the poor in spirit

a half-a-world away

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angered until i realize

moneychangers

need ministers

too

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From silence to slava bogu! More miracles in Ukraine!

“This is why He sent you,” my husband texted me.

And as soon as I saw those words from him, I knew that they were true.

If you read my earlier posts, you know I was fearful and even unsure about why God so clearly sent me to Ukraine. I was more-than-funded in four days, after all.

But aside from the pure joy of holding Little Peter’s hands in mine (see me and Peter, below), and the fact that I could no longer find a good excuse to say no to the persistent asks of the trip leader, I really didn’t have a clue why God sent me.

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Then Thursday afternoon came, and as I considered my husband’s text and looked into the faces of the Ukrainian counselors, I knew.

“Tell them,” my Abba whispered.

“Tell them they and the girls they counsel are not alone.

“Tell them what man meant for harm, God meant for good, even now, and for the saving of many lives.” 

Genesis 50:20 echoed in my head.

What is now being done.

The saving of many lives.

“Tell them,” Abba urged me again.

The Mission to Ukraine (MTU) staff said not to hold back, that in their country, horrific stories are commonplace. They could handle whatever I had to say. And so, after a few minutes of introducing myself, I tossed aside the eleven pages of prepared outline I’d written, a stack of paper which was my feeble attempt to hide what I was sure would be ill-prepared and severely lacking qualifications on my part.

Then I told them everything . . . everything that happened to me, including things shared only with my therapist and husband.

I told them though I may look whole, I am deeply broken.

That though God has delivered me from much, I have scars, indeed a thorn or two of after-effects which linger in my side.

I told them that I am one of every three women in America.

And I told them how God wins.

The shattering of chains was audible, as then they told me everything.

They told me the incidence of sexual abuse there is much greater.

That “maniacs,” as they call them, linger near school yards and in the crowded spaces of public transportation and in the blackened doorways and hallways of the apartment buildings to grope and steal and rape.

“One of my clients, her father raped her. And now her mother hates her, because she thinks the daughter did something to encourage him,” one woman said.

“One of my clients, a young man who was drunk when he came to see me, told me he was gang raped in a room with other teenagers. I did not know how to help him. Tell me,” another implored, “how could I have helped him?”

Still another said, “If you’re saying abuse does not always have to be full-on intercourse to be abuse, then practically all of us have been abused!”

I told them the subject is still very taboo in America.

They said it is even more taboo there.

The more we exchanged stories and facts, and the more the darkness fled and light spilled into the golden-painted room. I could not share enough of my story and the stories of other survivors fast enough. Tears streaming down their faces could not fall far enough. Our arms, wrapped in tight embraces more than two hours later could not hold tight long enough.

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To be sure, great is the work yet to be done.

But last Thursday, a giant was slain for many.

As promised in Genesis 50:20, now, good is being done.

Now, miraculous restoration is happening.

Now . . .

. . . even now . . .

. . . lives are being saved.

We all read Isaiah 61 outloud and in three languages–English, Russian and Ukraine.

We sang “How Great Thou Art” in three languages, too, the music erasing the barriers of the tongue and uniting the wings of spirits set free from chains of silence and empowered by the healing power of Jesus Christ.

We stood in awe, witnesses to a rare instance when the veil between the seen and the unseen is lifted.

Slava bogu means “Praise the Lord!” in Russian.

Slava bogu.

Slava bogu.

Slava bogu.

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Be a part of breaking chains in Ukraine.

Be a part of MTU.