variations on a broken heart examined

puzzling.

i don’t know why i never
stopped believing
why the knife-edged pain did not slice
through my tethered desperation
for
Jesus.

by all accounts, darkness should have
won.
some days, if i’m honest,
it wins small battles.

the twin armies of hate and unforgiveness pelt
my pretty little
safe little
bunker
with grenades.
arrows of fear shower me with
metallic
clouds of confusion.

serene and calm
i am not.

the ugly that is in me shines bright as a
blood red flare signaling
the enemy to advance.

i do not pretend this is not so.

but like a drought stays for a season and
is followed by quenching
rain
i kept after Him.

no.

wait.

that’s not it.

*****

He kept after me.

*****

after one of the most devastating droughts in Indiana history, these growing things still remain in my garden.
and i am grateful that they still chase the sun.
or
rather
that the sun still chases them.

“But blessed is the man who trusts me, God,
the woman who sticks with God.
They’re like trees replanted in Eden,
putting down roots near the rivers—
Never a worry through the hottest of summers,
never dropping a leaf,
Serene and calm through droughts,
bearing fresh fruit every season.

“The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful,
a puzzle that no one can figure out.
But I, God, search the heart
and examine the mind.
I get to the heart of the human.
I get to the root of things.
I treat them as they really are,
not as they pretend to be.”

~Jeremiah 17:7-9 (TMV)~

*****

What about you?

What remains in your garden at the end of a drought?

How have you–or have you not–kept the faith in the midst of brokenness?

because of the morning star

Yellow star faces groundward in eager expectation of the fruit which will burst forth from its branches.

A little sun.

A little water.

A little weed pulling.

And a lot of patience.

Still, the hope of bright, red fruit persists.

All because of the Morning Star.

Dear brothers and sisters,be patient as you wait for the Lord’s return. Consider the farmers who patiently wait for the rains in the fall and in the spring. They eagerly look for the valuable harvest to ripen. You, too, must be patient. Take courage, for the coming of the Lord is near. ~James 5:7-8 (NLT)

We couldn’t be more sure of what we saw and heard—God’s glory, God’s voice. The prophetic Word was confirmed to us. You’ll do well to keep focusing on it. It’s the one light you have in a dark time as you wait for daybreak and the rising of the Morning Star in your hearts. The main thing to keep in mind here is that no prophecy of Scripture is a matter of private opinion. And why? Because it’s not something concocted in the human heart. Prophecy resulted when the Holy Spirit prompted men and women to speak God’s Word. ~2 Peter 1:19-20 (TMV)