near the feet: a poem for survivors

all alone

ever

among us

uninvited

and

ignored full of

shame deflecting

pity

a harlot by

choice a harlot

by force a harlot

just the same

her story

no one wants

to hear too much

for them

to handle

but

everyone wants

to whisper

clicking

tongues think

they know her

struggle

her fear

don’t look

back forget

the past move

on

give up

get over

go away

still she stays

she stays to heal

she stays to hear

she stays to remember

the grace

the touch

the taste

the forgiveness

she stays

to find

her

way

near the only feet

that

saved

her

Jesus

***************

“One of the Pharisees asked him over for a meal. He went to the Pharisee’s house and sat down at the dinner table. Just then a woman of the village, the town harlot, having learned that Jesus was a guest in the home of the Pharisee, came with a bottle of very expensive perfume and stood at his feet, weeping, raining tears on his feet. Letting down her hair, she dried his feet, kissed them, and anointed them with the perfume. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, “If this man was the prophet I thought he was, he would have known what kind of woman this is who is falling all over him.”

Jesus said to him, “Simon, I have something to tell you.”

“Oh? Tell me.”

“Two men were in debt to a banker. One owed five hundred silver pieces, the other fifty. Neither of them could pay up, and so the banker canceled both debts. Which of the two would be more grateful?”

Simon answered, “I suppose the one who was forgiven the most.”

“That’s right,” said Jesus. Then turning to the woman, but speaking to Simon, he said, “Do you see this woman? I came to your home; you provided no water for my feet, but she rained tears on my feet and dried them with her hair. You gave me no greeting, but from the time I arrived she hasn’t quit kissing my feet. You provided nothing for freshening up, but she has soothed my feet with perfume. Impressive, isn’t it? She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal.”

Then he spoke to her: “I forgive your sins.”

That set the dinner guests talking behind his back: “Who does he think he is, forgiving sins!”

He ignored them and said to the woman, “Your faith has saved you. Go in peace.”

Luke 7:36-50,The Message (MSG)

Reconciling raisin cakes

 ”You can’t separate peace from freedom because no one can be at peace unless he has his freedom.”
~Dr. Kathleen Young 

***************

More than anything else, perhaps, someone in pain thirsts for peace.

More than anything else, perhaps, pain results from oppression.

Oppression from injustice.

Oppression from illness.

Oppression from tragedy, grief or loss.

Sometimes the word “reconciliation” makes me feel oppressed, choked by thoughts of forced, literal embraces with people who hurt and tear and steal.

But reconciliation is much more than that. Much bigger than an abuser. More powerful than any hold grief or loss has upon us.

In fact, I don’t believe reconciliation takes the form of human-to-human-embrace at all.

Reconciliation is about the way God loves us. The way God loves you. The way God loves me.

It’s about trusting God works out earthly things which the utter brokenness and depravity of human nature cannot restore this side of Heaven.

In the Bible, Hosea hears God tell him, “Go, show your love to your wife again, though she is loved by another man and is an adulteress. Love her as the LORD loves the Israelites, though they turn to other gods and love the sacred raisin cakes.” (Hosea 3:1)

Sometimes, we’re so elbow-deep in raisin cakes we can’t fathom the satiating love of our Father.

Sometimes, we need to toss aside our umbrellas of despair and dance in the rain of grace and mercy.

Kick off our galoshes and splash in rivers of reconciliation. 

Spin beneath the thundering sky of freedom.

Tiptoe into the ballet of a life being restored.

***************

“Each of us lives in the midst of particular sins and specific instances of brokenness. And each of us must choose how we will respond. Living a life of holiness and learning the ways of God sometimes mean letting go of our need for justice and instead embracing a world that groans in anticipation of the day when it, and we, will be redeemed. . . It means accepting with humility that God alone is good.”  
How Far Should Forgiveness Go? by Christine A Scheller 


*This post is written with gratitude for the One Word at a Time blog carnival on reconciliation this week.

On edge

I’m tired of church-bashing.

Last week I stumbled upon a blog post which sent me tumbling and jaded over the edge of current theological crags–crags which feel more and more like over-relevant, exegetical escarpment. Crags which taste like an hyper-emergent, post-modernistic bowl of lukewarm, pluralistic porridge.

Ok, maybe that’s a little strong.

But when I came across the Christians and their Molestation Problem blog post, I was bugged. Took me three days to calm down after reading it. Took me three more to keep myself from posting a doctoral-length response. Took me until today to figure out why it bugged me so much. The title alone would (and I dare say should) infuriate anyone who’s ever survived molestation. I rolled my eyes as I watched 300+ comments pour in, most of them praising the author for embracing a molester and issuing battle cries for all Christians to do the same. If we can’t, we’re all just as sinful as the molester himself. As the blog author wrote, “I looked at him square in the eye . . . ‘I’d let you have dinner with my family man. My wife would cook you a meal to remember and my kids would make you feel forgiveness unlike any you know. He IS a God of second chances and if you are clean in His eyes, you are clean in mine. Live well my friend.’”

The blog raked in record site visits and record numbers of comments.

Cool.

Edgy.

Let’s all go and do likewise.

Not.

Now, stop for a second and know this: I believe in forgiveness–the kind of forgiveness which requires straining and sweating and pursuing with all your heart until it settles like an autumn sunset on your soul. Forgiveness is powerful and essential to live a free and ferocious life in Christ.

And I do believe someone should invite the guy to dinner. I believe Jesus would invite the guy to dinner. But I don’t believe everyone should feel responsible to invite everyone to dinner. Nor do I believe it’s appropriate to tell the world if/when you do invite someone out-of-the-ordinary to dinner. Save that for a pharisitical street corner.

Living on the edge for Christ does not eliminate the need for boundaries. Forgiveness does not necessitate relationship with people who hurt you personally and deeply. Forgiveness is grace we extend, without allowing the hand which receives it to drag us–or innocent others–back into their pit.

The “Christians and their Problem” blog bugged me, like the Chris Tomlin video, “Bowlin’,” bugged me when it was shown to a middle school youth group. Evidently the video was shown to tens of thousands at the recent Catalyst conference. Watch the video and someone please tell me, what’s so funny about bullying, a full-view wedgie (complete with thong underwear), and scantily clad women petting a car like a kitten? So it’s Chris Tomlin and it’s edgy. Does that make it a “relevant” way to reel in an audience–adult or pre-teen?

The “Christians and their Problem” blog bugged me like Donald Miller’s “reverse confession booth” bugged me. The climax of Miller’s popular book Blue Like Jazz, Miller and his friends take it upon themselves to set up a confession tent to apologize for the way the church fails people.

The church doesn’t fail people.

People fail people.

And failed people make up the church.

Admit to this, yes, but can we quit bashing the church? Can we quit apologizing for holding people accountable and for speaking the truth in love?

Quit pushing edgy themes and tepid theology and just give me Jesus.

Jesus was edgy, after all. His life oozed a truth and love so radical it was incredulously irrelevant. But the irrelevance of the Gospel is appropriate.

Over-relevance is not.

I believe in living brave-not-safe, but not in a way that makes others feel inadequate. Not in a way that ignores the need for boundaries in a world full of prowling principalities. And not in a way which assumes a person–or group of people–has the authority to apologize for the brokenness of the church on my–or anyone elses’–behalf.

Jesus was edgy.

But He didn’t fall off a cliff trying to be.

Jesus was truth and love. Gentleness and peace.

Jesus drew attention to Himself not because of hoaky stunts or scenarios, but because of unexpected, unpretentious, unabashed love. Jesus came to wells at mid-day, yet knew when to shake dust from His feet and leave. Jesus dined with sinners, but He didn’t hesitate to command those He healed to pick up their mats.

Tension.

Edgy-ness.

Relevance.

Can we drop the catch-phrases and flagrant attempts to market Jesus?

As my friend Amy says, “Proclaiming truth in a soft voice is often more provocative than shouting to the masses. I imagine that the provocation was as much WHAT [Jesus] said and did as HOW he said and did it.”

Paul wrote in Romans 12:1-3 (The Message version):

******************
“So here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life—your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life—and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him. Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it.
Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you. I’m speaking to you out of deep gratitude for all that God has given me, and especially as I have responsibilities in relation to you.
Living then, as every one of you does, in pure grace, it’s important that you not misinterpret yourselves as people who are bringing this goodness to God. No, God brings it all to you. The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us, not by what we are and what we do for him.”
******************

Call me crazy.

Call me a church-lover.

Or call me a Hoosier who grew up thinking John Mellencamp was right about standin’ for somethin’ or fallin’ for anything.

Most of all, forgive me if this post was too edgy.

I just can’t bear to see broken folks (including myself) falling off–and falling for–the wrong edge.

P.S. For some great organizations and writers who live on the edge without being edgy, check out my blogroll and the buttons at the bottom of this page . . . places like World Next Door, Sticky Jesus, Mary DeMuth, Karen Spears Zacharias, Beth Moore, Billy Coffey and more.